McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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