we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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