Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
