i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize
