she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
