Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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