Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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