Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Are we still banned from the library?
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
