She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
