My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
