Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
