my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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