They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
