oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
