dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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