But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's intense
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
