I can't watch pbs sober anymore
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
