Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
