i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
