opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
