I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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