Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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