Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
