I accidentally had phone sex last night
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
