I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
