YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
