You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
