Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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