It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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