I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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