that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
