Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
