He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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