She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
