come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
