The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
