okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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