If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
