I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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