Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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