mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
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