GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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