end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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