I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
