I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize