nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
