i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
