dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Success! We fucked roommates!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
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