Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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