You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
