Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
