Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
