no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
