I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
