I'm jealous of your bromance
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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