How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
