kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
