I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
