can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
