just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I need water and some morals
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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