I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
