Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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