I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
